Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
