I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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