I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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