i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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