just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
