Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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