maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
