Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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