So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
