The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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