he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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