ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
