Porn is love you can see.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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