Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize