he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
and she was petting her beer can
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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