im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
