My room smells like vodka and shame
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
