i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
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There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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