last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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