dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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