He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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