She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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