Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
