i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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