Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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