she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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