her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
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He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
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the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize