Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize