could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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