just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
50% drunk capacity currently
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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