do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
