Where is the hickey?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
