It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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