I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
