High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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