She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
