Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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