let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
