Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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