i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
