I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
