i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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