Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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