I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
