She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
