Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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