im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i think i have two assholes
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
