This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize