Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
