you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
