The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
