my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
