Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she looked like the before picture.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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