there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
