Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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