no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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