My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I smell stomach acid.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
