I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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