i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
