My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
