So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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