Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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