I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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