Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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