That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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