It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
